Tech Support!

The scene from Vanilla Sky has always stood out in my mind, where Tom Cruise is yelling at the top of his lungs for Tech Support. It always seemed poignant to me. I rarely yell for Tech Support myself. I've been working with computers since I was 12 (starting with a Commodore Vic20) and have been in the computer field for some 19 odd years. In fact, I dread ever having to talk to Tech Support at all because they ask the stupidest questions ("Is the device powered on?"). I know, I know, they HAVE to ask those questions, because most of the people calling have no clue what they are doing. Can I just have a "press 9 for the Guru" button please.

But for some reason, everyone thinks that because I know so much about computers, that I should be their personal Tech Support to call up whenever they need. Typically, its my wife who has the most problems and I'm often asked to fix the Internet whenever she has a problem. She doesn't understand, nor care that she doesn't understand, that the bulk of the issues are specific to things I can't control. Like someone else's website, internet connection, etc. But she will eventually understand that short of hacking into the Citi website, that I just won't be able to put in better messaging to help her find her way.

A friend of my wife, whom she hasn't spoken to in months called and asked for me. She shot me the jealous eye until she found out that she was calling about a computer problem. As is mostly the case, I couldn't help and she eventually went to Best Buy for help where she had to pay them money, good money. Ultimately, its not about me being an expert, its about me being free.

The most recent incident (the one that sparked this rant) came from my mother-in-law. She came to visit us back over the holidays and was confounded that her AOL didn't look the same on my computer as it did back home. Nevermind the fact that at home she has the AOL application and that she was seeing the website version on mine. That my computer is a Mac had other issues as well, but I won't go into that here. Suffice it to say that I had a very entertaining week.

Over this past weekend she called in a panic and needed my help. I dodged the phone call for hours because I instinctively knew that it would not be something that I could help with, but would be obliged to try. When I could no longer avoid the conversation, I was asked how she could solve her problem of no longer having a forward button on her email. Huh? She did say that she had done something, to some such, and that it might have done it. Ok, so just reverse your steps. Unfortunately for all of us, that wasn't going to happen. I calmly explained that there was nothing that I could do to help and that she should call AOL for support (especially since she was paying them money to do so). I still spent another 15 mins on the phone as she kept asking questions that I had no way of answering. It was at the point that she found herself inside of her Windows Control Panel that I INSISTED that she call AOL before AOL was no longer the problem. Sigh!

But just as I was sitting there being all pissy about the situation, I realized that its not just us computer geeks who get that treatment. My wife being the Chef, is always asked about how to prepare one dish or another. My dad is a carpenter and is always asked advice on how to repair something or advice on how to remodel. So it isn't just me. However I have discovered a way to keep anyone from asking my advice more than once, something that my wife and father can't do.

"So you are having problems with: INSERT PROBLEM HERE (World of Warcraft, AOL, Email, etc.)"
"Ok, hit the Windows button and hit Run. The big button on your bar at the bottom. On the left hand side. Yes, that's it. Ok, now hit Run. In the menu. Yes, that one. Ok, now type cmd. Yes, its supposed to be all black and white. Great! Now type fdisk c:\, yes, just like that. Reboot when it asks. Just press OK, you'll be fine. It's rebooting? Perfect. Ok, your problems are now solved. Have a good day."

The Origin

I'm sure that many of you whom have stumbled upon my blog have wondered about the name. Tonamok? Is that Native American? African? Isn't it from a book? Isn't that a city in Wisconsin? Or that famous guy in Indonesia? No. No. No. No. And no.

The name itself came about purely by accident and was such a unique name that it has become my moniker for ever more (although someone has since hijacked it in City of Heroes and Star Trek online). So just what the hell does the name mean already?

Patience. You should know by now that I love a good story, and the telling is half the fun.

It was 1995 and I was just getting my start in life. Well not exactly. I had graduated college in 1992 after six long years of study. I had started my collegiate life at Auburn University and halfway through my degree got distracted by what I thought was love, but really just turned out to be a six year infatuation. We all do a lot for love and I followed my desire to Pensacola, Florida where the infatuation eventually ended. I finished my degree and started on my Masters. I had a great job working with the US Army Corps of Engineers making great money for a 28 yr old. Being single I found myself spending entirely too much of my hard earned cash on consumables leaving nothing to show for it once it was done. I made a decision and bought my first home.

I lived literally 10 mins from the beach and often found myself there whenever possible. I realized that something else was missing from my existence. It was in February of that year that I met Amok. She was a thing of beauty. She had wonderful curves in all the right places. And she was fast! My Seadoo SPI filled a void that I had in my life at that time. It was a cold February day when I took her out for the first time. I donned a shorty wetsuit because the water was a frigid 50 something. When I was done that first day, I knew I had to name her "Amok" because when I was with her I was "running amok". OK, so that seems a bit corny now, but at the time I thought it was clever. By the next Saturday she had her name blazoned upon her stern in purple to match her trim.

Every Friday when I would get home from work, I would quickly head to the beach with her. I would spend the weekend with her at the beach, only reluctantly packing up on Sunday evening to get her home in time to clean the salt water off of her before crashing to bed. During this time, I became a staple at the beach. Many of the regulars there began to know me and we had a PWC social caste that was all our own. My set of friends grew as well, most of them joining me throughout the weekend as we played in the crystal clear waters of the Gulf of Mexico. Many of the people around me really didn't know my name. They only knew me as Tony. Tony Amok. When yelled at me from the parking lot of the boat ramp one day, it sounded like "Ton amok". And that's when it stuck. Tonamok was born.

Fortunately, the story didn't end there.

Many things started happening in my life about that time. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was finally growing up. I went from an insecure, angry young man to a very confident and poised individual in the space of about 3 months. My closest friends at the time created a company named "Amok Brothers Communications" starting with T-shirt designs. The company quickly morphed into a web design firm that we sold off to a local ISP. I eventually took that knowledge and came to Atlanta where I've been doing website design and software development since. At the same time, I met the true love of my life and was married a year later. Now, almost 14 years later I look back with wonder during that period. If not for "Amok", I would never have met my wife, I would never have started the career that I have, and I would not have the wonderful life that I now have. All partially due to one little Seadoo.

And my "Amok" is still with me. She has a place of honor in the garage. We still take her out, although not near as much as I did that first summer. When time's got tough over the last year or so, I debated selling her to help with bills, but just couldn't fathom not having her with me.

And the name that I earned that summer with her has stayed with me all this time. If anything the older I get, the more the name fits. The name is on my car, my website, and is my primary name on any website or game out there. So should you run into me on the Dalaran server, you should at least say hi, and ask me how ole "Amok" is doing.