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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Summer Blockbuster Slam

I don't get a lot of opportunity to go to the movies any more. One its expensive as hell. Two, the crowds often detract from the experience. And honestly, I'd rather watch a movie on my large screen TV in the comfort of my own home. Movie Theater popcorn is disgusting, you have to coat it with butter and cheese sprinkles and salt to make it tasty. At home I have an air popper that makes the absolute best popcorn in the world (just ask my wife, she loves mine).

But in the past two weeks, I've been able to see two movies at the theater so I figured that I'd let you know what I thought about them. Yesterday I went to see "The Last Airbender". M. Knight Shamalamadingdong or whatever his name is most recent directorial attempt. A once up and coming director with a penchant for surprises, is now at best, just another narcissist trying to keep his name in the public eye. The best description for this movie came from my oldest son, "Meh!"

The special effects were cool and the settings fantastical. That's really the only thing nice I can say about the movie. The acting was, ...well, absent. I see better acting watching my two youngest in the pool pretending to be seals. Actually that would be an insult to my kids. I've seen better acting in 3rd grade pageants. Wait, another insult. Ok, I've not ever seen worse acting. There, that is better.

I was lost throughout most of the story. I had watched "Avatar" with my kids from time to time, so at least I had some idea of the premise. But I'm thinking that only an avid fan of the cartoon would really understand the story. My son was more knowledgeable than I but he was unable to connect the movie story with the cartoon story so we both walked out of there not really knowing what the hell was going on.

The only positive thing about the movie was that it keep me out of the 98 degree heat in Jersey for the day. No sunstroke, no heatstroke, just cool air.... But I could have chosen better I think. We did watch the 3D version but compared to my second movie review, the 3D in TLA was laughable. It was obviously tacked on to take advantage of the current 3D push.

Ok, on to the next movie, Toy Story 3.

Let's just get this out of the way up front. I cried.

No, scratch that, I bawled. Like a baby.

My first instinct was that this was Disney Pixar trying to get back on top with a known IP, since their last two attempts were steadily getting worse. Capitalize on the known, phone it in, make payroll. I'm happy to say that I am wrong. Although the story is about the continuation of the characters that we've become so familiar with, it was in no way phoned in. It was amazing. The 3D was not tacked on, but was an integral part of the experience and it was done to enhance the movie and not draw attention to itself for the sake of being 3D. I won't spoil the movie by explaining the story, but it was the natural ending to story. I distinctly remember having just such a moment as I left for college, feeling that I was leaving my childhood behind forever. Even poor childhoods are looked back upon in fondness after time has dulled the pain. Toy Story 3 captured that feeling exactly. My daughter calls me an "old softy" now. I guess she hasn't been paying attention, I've been that for a while.

My last movie is not really a review. Honestly, you wouldn't catch me within a mile of this movie. However, the results of what this movie does for my romantic life is well worth whatever sacrifices I must make. Twilight - "Sun Up", or "Moon Over Troubled Water", or whatever the hell the name of the movie is turns married women into swooning teenagers again. I won't point out the obvious statement about if I was lusting after a 20 something, I'll just keep that in my back pocket for a future pass. Regardless, nothing helps a romantic life like a brooding moody vampire. Who knew?

Now if someone can tell me how to get this glitter to stick to my skin and I'm in!

Ok, remember to click on any BP adds that show up while reading this. Make those bastards pay!

Gulf Coast Oil spill, tarballs, Pensacola, Mobile, New Orleans, British Petroleum, BP, gasoline, Panama City, Gulf Breeze, cleanup, oil slick, wildlife, marsh, inter-coastal waterway, Lake Ponchatrain

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